"Carpe diem"

I've been attempting to write this blog for about a week now. Every time I start, I just can't seem to find the right words to say, or how to express exactly how I was feeling. I guess I'll try though, not that I think I'll have any improvement, but just because sometimes there really are no words that you can say.

To put it simply, I am more happy here than I have ever been in my entire life. Not all the time of course, but overall, content, and there are a pretty constant stream of instances where I've been overcome with true happiness, pure and blissful, and without restraint.

I've realized how lucky I am to have this experience, I know I say this every time, but it's true. I'm so blessed. I know that a lot of people are unhappy with their lives, and here I am, soaking it up. But I think I've found the key to happiness, so listen closely. "Carpe Diem".

Many of you may be thinking, "Yeah, yeah I've never head that one before." But seriously, it's as simple as that. We've known it all along yet haven't really listened.

"Seize the day."

But what does that even mean? How can one do that? Well, I think I've started to figure that out.. Take last Thursday. It was a national holiday in Spain so there was no school. I got up early with Miguel and Angela and we drove to their friends house to meet up with a group of about 15 people to go on a nature walk along the coast of the Mediterranean.

Naturally, it was spectacular as always. I've absolutely fallen in love with the Mediterranean. The walk was about 2 hours and by the time it was finished, we were hot and sweating. So, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Angela suggested that we go swimming. In December.

I had brought along my swimsuit, not expecting to use it. I had just brought it along more to humor Angela than anything else.

But everybody else jumped right in, even though the water was freezing. I was more hesitant of course, slowly wading in the water, inching my way in. I was just about to turn back when I had a thought. "When am I ever going to be able to do this again? This sort of thing doesn't happen everyday and if you have the chance, take it. This is the type of experience that you will keep with you for the rest of your life."

So even though I was shivering and slipping and could have made up a hundred excuses why I shouldn't swim in December, (the most prominent being Pneumonia ), I made my way down to the edge, and jumped in.

At first there was a cold shock all through my body. But as I popped my head up out of the water, looked around me at the mountains and below me at the clear blue water, I felt revitalized. I felt alive. I could feel the blood pumping in my veins and suddenly I wasn't so cold anymore; I was refreshed.

I spent the next half an hour swimming with Angela and our friends, splashing around, laughing at the mere fact that we were swimming in December. I've never had more fun.

Then, we slowly got out, dried off, and made our way back to the car where we drove to our friends house to meet back up with the rest of our group to have lunch.

The house was beautiful, filled with gardens that could have resembled a modern day Eden (the owners are gardeners). The house was filled with great food, and wonderful people that kept me laughing by singing me old Spanish songs, and putting on impromptu plays during lunch. After lunch is normally siesta, so I took the liberty to be by myself for awhile after we ate. I love to be around people and talk and listen, but sometimes I just need a moment to myself to think.

So I walked through their beautiful garden until I found a perfect spot hidden in the farthest corner. There was a lounge chair, a small pond, and an amazing view of the mountains. As I laid there, thinking of the events of that day, feeling my damp hair from the sea water, all I could think was that this is what life is about. About those moments where you feel so elated with the fact that you're alive, that you might burst. When you feel that nothing else in the whole world matters at all except this moment. When you believe with all of your heart that the world is beautiful and mysterious and it's okay because you just want to spend your whole life discovering it's most precious treasures. And the best part is, when you realize it's not a movie. That it's your life. That this is really happening, and you are so overcome with happiness and the beauty of life and this day and this moment right now that you might cry.

And this is what life is about. Or should be about, for that matter. It's about seizing the day. Doing something that scares you, but doing it anyway because it's worth it. It's about appreciating life in every aspect, taking the good and the bad, and knowing that tomorrow is another day, and life goes on, so you better live it the best that you can in this very moment.

What I'm saying has already been said before, by people much wiser than me, with much more life experience. My words are nothing new, and these ideas have already been said through speakers much more eloquent than I. But to me, these words are brand new. You don't realize what "Carpe diem" can truly mean until you live it for yourself. And as I'm discovering things about life and myself here, this phrase comes to me as if it were the first time I've ever heard it.

To some, I may be considered naive about the ways of the world and how life works. But in my short 16 years I've already led a beautiful life, and I plan to continue like that with the same eyes and outlook that I have now: filled with wonder.